The European Commission has just announced an
agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather
than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the
negotiations, Her Majesty's government conceded that English spelling
had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan
that would be known as "Euro English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard
"c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should
klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This
will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the languag is disgracful,
and they should go away.
By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" with "z" and "w" wiz "v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to
ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no
mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!
UP to Uwe's